Peter Capaldi - The Twelfth Doctor

Peter Capaldi - Twelfth Doctor - Malcolm Tucker - Illustration

It's been a while since I posted a comic here, and I had one ready to go this week. But in light of the recent monumental news I think it's appropriate to pay homage instead to Mr. Peter Capaldi, the Angry Glaswegian Storm - the Twelfth Doctor. I would apologise in advance for the unbridled geekiness that follows, but Doctor Who is brilliant so I don't need to.

First off, I just want to say that I am a massive Matt Smith fan... At first I thought I'd be put off by his bizarrely hewn head but I found I could easily tolerate it by the end of The Eleventh Hour. Now I can go whole episodes without noticing how freaky he looks. And he's great and an old man and a boy-child and an alien.

I liked Tennant too, except he was always crying and saying "I'm Sho Sho Shorry" while labelling himself as "The Oncoming Storm." And - "Like fire. And Ice."

And I'd be lying if I said that, as soon as I heard Matt Smith was stepping down, I didn't stand in front of a mirror and practice my regeneration moment. Needless-to-say, I was not offered the part and, regardless of how I feel about that (eighty quid I'm not going to get back from Ladbrokes) I think my interpretation of the role was probably rather different from Mr. Capaldi's. I was all flouncing around and ostentatious hand-gestures, but I assume Pete fixed his reflection with a terrifyingly unyielding stare of white-hot intensity before headbutting the glass and screaming at the hundreds of tiny reflections in the shards that dusted his carpet:
"Don't fucking look at me! DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING LOOK AT ME!"

As always, it's difficult to imagine someone new playing such an iconic role. But before long we'll remember Matt Smith dancing impishly around the set as he tried to reason with a Weeping Angel and a sad little nostalgic smile will flutter across our faces as Pete throws a cup of scalding hot coffee in a lollipop lady's face.

And I know I'm being a little unfair here. I'm well aware that Peter Capaldi isn't actually Malcolm Tucker - I've seen him in other stuff and he's always great. But I will say that he's the only actor to take on the role thus far that I can imagine chinning a chip shop proprietor on a wet Thursday morning in November.

So, to summarise - I'm very happy with this piece of casting and here are the reasons that I would not leave any of the New Who Doctors in charge of looking after my baby (if I had one):

Tennant - Although he'd be very kind and caring, he'd get too attached and end up running off to Uruguay where he could raise my child as his own while undergoing gender reassignment surgery.

Smith - He'd feed the baby toast and then let it drive to the shops in my Peugeot 106.

Capaldi - He'd repeatedly punch the baby in its soft-spot.

... Also, Eccleston because, meh.

Post-script - I definitely drew this picture of Peter Capaldi especially for this blog entry. It would have been really weird if I already had four pictures of him lying around ready to choose from, wouldn't it?

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