Influential People in the Life of a White Male Psuedo-Intellectual in his Mid-twenties Volume 3: Why Woody Allen is Funny

There’s a quote I’ve been attributing to Woody for a number of years:

“There are two types of people in the world, there are those who are miserable and those who are so miserable that they have to make jokes about it."

In a world devoid of meaning, a chaotic nihilistic blankness that runs according to no moral system, a world where terrible things happen far more often than good, it is impossible not to feel a little blue. But let that horrible reality flood your mind and the absurdity of it becomes a vague consolation. And the only acceptable response is to open your eyes wide, stare into the middle distance, and gulp wretched giggles like the head of a syphilitic French nobleman caked in pancake make-up, resting in the basket below Madame Guillotine. It’s funny... Like the rumblings of a death-fart.

Of course, now I can find no source for the quote. I'm sure I read it in an interview that – bizarrely – has left no traces on the internet. I refuse to believe that I manufactured the quote myself because – just as I splutter and drool when attempting off-the-cuff quips – I am nowhere near insightful and succinct enough to come up with such an elegant expression of life as this one on my own.

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